You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
