My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
