at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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