In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
even my farts smell like vagina
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
third nipple confirmed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
