but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
