Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
