does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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