Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Text me some of your sweat
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize