You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
