we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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