Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
