Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
