Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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