wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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