a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
