you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
