Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
