May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
