Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize