i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize