Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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