ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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