Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
