we have pet lesbian snakes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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