We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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