I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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