he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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