Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My life is pants optional.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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