They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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