What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
