Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
