it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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