i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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