Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Enjoy the penises
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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