I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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