No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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