We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
