Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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