I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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