.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
