I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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