His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
