OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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