And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The Olympian is in my bed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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