But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
