Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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