Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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