Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
