Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
