so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
