Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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