You just made me feel so damn special
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
soo... how was my night?
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