lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
