Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
