I want to walk on stilts...naked
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
