I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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