o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize