David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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