U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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