We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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