Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.