You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?