you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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