Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"