Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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