When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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