He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
