he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So vagazzling was a success
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